🐔 The Department of Extremely Important Nonsense 🐔

"Where the important stuff never actually happens."

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Established never, headquartered nowhere, our mission is to remain extremely committed to being mildly ridiculous.

🦆 Duck-based transportation, coming soon (probably not).
🧦 Official sponsor of the Left Sock That Went Missing.
🍝 All spaghetti is considered a load-bearing structure.
📠 We still answer faxes. We do not own a fax machine.
🐢 Our fastest employee is a turtle named Greg.

🎉 You clicked it anyway. Bold move. Here's your reward: absolutely nothing, but a virtual high five 🖐️. You have now honked the chicken 0 times without even trying.